It’s Hard Being A Black Woman Who Is A Car Enthusiast…
Some might ask: “What’s so hard about being a black woman and a car enthusiast?”
I can tell you firsthand that it’s not easy. You get questioning looks or a smirk of disbelief. Some might try to test you and see if you're just making it up.
Then they’ll ask: “Oh yeah? You write about cars? Where can I find you?” or, “You watch racing? Sure…Who won the F1 Championship of 2020?” or the most popular “You? A car enthusiast? Sure.”
For a while, it bothered me. Why is it so unbelievable for me to write about cars and racing or that my YouTube is filled with car and racing content?
There was an instance when I was writing for a blog for cars, I was only given 1 article a month when everyone else got at least 10. I got paid per article so I was working my butt off to get the content done as quickly as possible.
It didn’t seem to matter though because it would take them almost 3 weeks to even approve my work. When I confronted them about it, they said nothing and just acted like it didn’t happen.
It started messing with my spirit pretty bad.
I was moody, angry, and always upset so my mom and I went out to coffee and she sat me down.
“Anya,” she said, “If this is bothering you this bad, you need to quit.”
I shook my head and stared down at my coffee. “No, I can’t”
She sighed “Why not?”
“Because then I’ll look like a quitter, I can’t.”
“No, you won’t look a quitter. You’ll be someone who refuses to be used.”
For a couple of weeks, I went back and forth trying to figure out whether to leave them. The longer I stayed, the more experience I obtained but on the flipside the longer I stayed the longer I remained unhappy and used.
I talked to my brothers and they said “Dude, just dump em’ do your own thing.”
I talked to my boyfriend and he said “Pray about it and do what’s best for you. I support you in whatever you decide.”
I talked to my dad and he just shook his head. He was slightly upset about how I was being treated. “Your good, because I would have dropped them a while ago.”
I talked to everyone important to me and they all said the same thing and so I took the leap, and quit.
Now, I have to admit when I sent them a message that I was done with their crap I immediately felt better. Like a huge weight being lifted.
But wait there’s more.
One day I was at work in the breakroom eating Chinese food when some of my co-workers came and sat at the table with me. I was watching the highlights of an older Formula 1 race on my phone and one of my co-workers looked over my shoulder.
All of a sudden he started laughing. Hard.
I looked at him annoyed “What’s so funny?”
He smiled at me “You're really trying aren’t you?”
At this point, I am so confused “what are you talking about?”
“You’re resorting to watching racing in front of me to get my attention.”
I have never wanted to slap somebody so bad. He really thought that I was watching racing for the sole purpose of getting his attention. That’s not the only time either. I’ve had girls come to me and claim that I’m “desperate for a man and that’s the only reason I watch anything remotely related to cars”
For anyone who knows me those allegations are clearly not true.
But in conclusion, it’s hard. It really is, because everyone seems to want to make assumptions, but I’ve learned to accept that it’s different and that I might get the occasional smirk.
That’s fine, but I’m gonna keep on doing me.